Are we married because we’re mature or because we’re looking for maturity?

Thursday, November 6, 2008 at 12:58 am (Let me think ...)

This evening, I wrote on Plurk: “do you think I’m weird because I’m not into a marriage things?”. From weird or not case, the discussion change the direction into the maturity things. One Plurker said: “Marriage is depend into one person maturity (level)” The other tried to make example: “Let’s we consider it by logic, are we gone into the university because we’re smart or because we want to be smart?”. At that time I wrote: “By my lecturing experience, I find out that student who’s smart enough to find out about the major he/she is into before join in, mostly become better student than who don’t”. End of discussion.

How if I twist the logic phrase a bit: “Are we married because we’re mature or because we’re looking for maturity?”. Hmm, it’s become hard question then. To be honest, I hate people who think they are mature, specially the young people who think they are more mature then they pals just because they have ring on their ring finger. Why? because they tend to spread the advice (while we’re not asked for it) and treat other people like children. And what I hate most? the advice is mostly about marriage. If that happen, I used to leave them and thinking “He/she just can’t stand marriage euphoria”. (T,T)

My parents has been wed for about 28 years. Are they mature? I’m gonna say “sometimes”. When my mother get angry, she tend to slammed the door. Or my father, who stand for not speaking to my ‘enemy’ daughter for a while after we get fight. If that happen, me and my sister will stay on her room and laugh about “how not mature our parent are”. But,they married, so they are mature. And why they tend to act immature? 😦 . Hmm, I think maybe the answer is this:

“Most people decide to get married because they think they are already mature mentally and physically, and most of those people needs to get married because they need acknowledgment from their environment about they’re maturity.” How about that 🙂  

If I ask my BF about my maturity, He’ll say I’m not mature because this and that. And if he asked me the same question, I’ll say he’s not mature because this and that. So I think we’re both not mature yet. But, after a while, I think our immaturity are only on the small unimportant enough to think about things. So I guess, until my death, I’ll never be fully mature mentally, and the most important thing is I’ll never be mature enough for people who think they are mature. And someday, if I ever get married, I want it because I already learn all about marriage things and ready to take the risk. I believe marriage will not change my maturity. But I will stand up, raise up my chin and proudly say “I’m not fully mature (mentally), and I’m not gonna fix it, because I need it. But I’m happy to be mature enough to learn and considering any marriage aspect, before I say “I do”.



  1. Felix said,

    Jadi intinya tanggal berapa nih 😀

  2. Wien said,

    tetep keukeuh, merid itu supaya halal aja kalo ngapa2in… hihihihi.

  3. Rio said,

    I think what you mean by not mature are freedom as a child, full of imagination; creativity — the most important thing for designer like you.

    Marriage will not suppress your creativity but it will maintain it.

    Sometimes when we facing something that ‘not me enough’ we will go self defense, but you know what ‘enough is enough’ end of euphoria.

  4. ncus said,

    Marriage is not about maturity, it’s a status. Just like in other status, you get extra privilege with your new status.

    In a wedding, groom and bride actually is buying their news status, celebrated by a wedding ceremony and the guest, pastor as witness that they are officially has new status as husband and wife.

    My point is, you don’t have to mature to get this new status called married. You can marry at your 5th, 15th anytime, but there are some rules that you need to comply.

    Think again if you want marry because you think that you are mature enough. Instead think whether you are ready to get a status as husband, or wife, because there are big responsible awaits.

  5. OrangeMood said,

    Totally not weird and many people thinks like that… me 2… Then I realize married just a higher level relationship… but married is not so bad I think… :p

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